Moments of Clarity (Moments Series Book 2) Read online

  Just as things start getting awkward he says, “Mase, go join the drills. Carter and I need to talk.”

  I don’t like the way he said the word talk, but I have no choice but to hear him out. As soon as Mase is out of earshot, Coach levels his eyes on me and goes in for the kill, “Are you serious about a career in the NFL or not? Because I’ve got a lot of talented boys on this team who haven’t had the chance to show the reps what they’ve got to offer because you take up all the damn spotlight. So, I’m asking you, are you invested?”

  I’m shocked at his candour. Coach has never questioned my loyalty to the sport before. I’ve never given him reason to. Until this last couple of months, when I started putting in more hours with Trick. But even then, I give my all to the team first.

  I know what I want to say. And I know what my father expects me to say. But I just can’t do it. And getting words to pass my lips is another issue entirely. I still haven’t made my decision. What I want and need, and what is expected of me, are two completely different things.

  But I won’t lie to him. I’ve never been big on lying and I’m not going to start now. Clearing my throat, I tell Coach the only thing I can right now, “Bench me. I already have teams with contracts just waiting for me to sign. Give the boys their shot.”

  Nobody except Mase and my father know that I’ve already been offered a place with three different teams. So, when Coach’s brows shoot up to his receding hairline at my words, I’m not surprised, but he sure as hell is.

  It took him a minute to find his words, “Well, congratulations, Cross. You’ll be an asset to any team you play for,” he says, then turns his back to me and walks away.

  He leaves me standing there on the side line without giving me a task. I look around and see Mase watching me, and I nod in his direction, letting him know everything’s fine. Then I take a seat on the bench and watch the rest of the team run drills for the next hour and a half.

  Carter’s kisses are far and away the best kisses I’ve ever been on the receiving end of. And his body, oh good lord his body. I want to climb him like a tree. I still don’t know how it is that I came to be the object of his attention, but I’m done second guessing it.

  I’m lying back on my bed with my booted feet on the ground, freshly showered and dressed in a black, figure hugging, mid-thigh length dress with teal stockings. My phone chimes with a text, and seeing Carter’s name brings a smile to my lips. It says he’s out front so I grab my peach kimono covered in butterflies, slide it on over my dress and head out.

  He’s leaning against his car with his hands tucked into his jean pockets, and when his eyes find me, they widen, “Hey, gorgeous,” he greets, as his eyes travel the length of my body.

  A slow smile spreads across my face, “I take it you like my outfit?” I say, doing a little twirl as I approach.

  As soon as I’m within reach he pulls me into his warm body, “Fuck, yes,” he murmurs against my cheek. Dipping his head, he presses a soft kiss to my shoulder, “I like everything about you.”

  Inhaling his minty scent, I ask, “Where are we going?”

  He takes my hand and leads me around his car, opening my door for me. “Wherever you want. I just want to hang out with you.” When he gets in behind the wheel he turns to face me, “So, where to?”

  I grin, knowing exactly where I want to go, “I know a place,” I tell him, then give him the directions to my field on the far side of town.

  The further out of town we get, the darker it becomes. Carter glances at me from the corner of his eye, “Are you taking me somewhere dark and dingy to do nefarious things to me, Chance?” his grin is huge.

  I laugh, “No, you pervert. I shoot out here a lot. It’s my happy place.”

  He nods beside me, “Fine, but for the record, I wouldn’t object to the nefarious deeds.”

  Shaking my head at him, I roll my eyes, even though I know he can’t see it in the darkness, “I bet you wouldn’t.”

  Five minutes later, we climb out of Carter’s Everest and, using the flashlights on our phones, we walk down the well worn track through the grass to the old outdoor setting I brought out here last year. I walk ahead of him, leading the way. And Carter follows behind me, silently.

  When we make it to the giant fig tree in the middle of the paddock, I lead Carter to the table and chairs set up under it, then find the little battery pack for the twinkling lights I have strung through the branches above us. I flick the little switch and the lights come to life, giving the area an ethereal glow.

  I close my eyes and sigh with happiness, I love coming out here, especially at night.

  Carter’s deep voice pulls my attention back to him, “Hmm, what was that?” I ask, turning back to face him.

  “Isn’t it the guys job to do shit like this?” he says.

  Taking the seat beside his, I shake my head, “Like what?”

  He lifts his hand, gesturing to the lights twinkling around us, “This, it’s romantic. It’s special, you know. I should be the one taking you to places like this, not the other way around.”

  I shrug, “I’m not one of those girls who expects to be treated like a princess. This is my little piece of happy. The place I come when I need to breathe. You seem like you might need a place like this too, maybe?”

  Carter covers my hand with his own, “Mase has been calling me Princess for years, maybe it’s time I let someone treat me like one,” he says with a grin, then leans over the arm rest between us and cups my cheek in his big palm, “Are you going to treat me like a princess, Chance? Are you going to romance and woo me?”

  His mouth is so close I can feel the warmth of his breath, and I want nothing more than to close that little space separating his lips from mine, but his words gnaw at me, “Like a princess? No. But I’ll treat you like my own, personal, dirty prince if you want,” I whisper against his cheek, then run my tongue up the side of his lightly stubbled jaw to his ear, and bite down on his lobe.

  A deep guttural groan fills the air around us, and Carter pushes to his feet and stands in front of me. He braces on the arms of my chair as he leans down into my face, “Could you be any more perfect for me? Why the fuck did I not come after you months ago?”

  His eyes are boring into mine, searching for I don’t know what. I lick my lips, “I don’t know. Better late than never, right?” I murmur.

  “Sorry I was late, my girl,” his lips graze against mine as he speaks, then he’s kissing me with so much gentleness my breath hitches. He takes his time, sucking my bottom lip between his own, “So, fucking, perfect,” he says between peppering my lips with soft wet strokes of his tongue.

  My hands slide up into his hair, tugging on the strands, wanting, needing more of him, “Carter,” I whimper.

  Lifting me from my seat he turns and drops back into his own, taking me with him. My knees bend by his sides, as I press myself into his chest, taking everything he’s giving me. We kiss and touch each other for a long time, learning what the other likes, memorising each curve and crest.

  When we finally come up for air, my lips are swollen but I can’t stop smiling at him, and as much as I’d like to keep kissing him, I want to hear his voice, I want to know more about him, “Tell me about MMA.”

  He takes a deep breath, “I can’t talk to you with you in my lap. I’m incapable of thinking clearly with your soft curves so irresistibly close.”

  Using his shoulders to steady myself, I push away from him and get to my feet, “Okay, I’ll sit over here then,” I tell him, as I back away from him to a thick low hanging branch, then climb up on it and sit with my back against the trunk.

  Carter leans back in his seat, stretching his long legs out in front of him, and slides his hands into his pockets, “What do you want to know?”

  “How long have you been doing it? Why do you do it? It looks so gruesome. I looked it up, it’s almost animalistic,” my nose scrunches up, as I tell him what I think of the sport that brings light to his eyes.
/>   He shrugs one big shoulder, “It is a very raw and gritty sport. But nothing brings me peace the way it does. I’ve been fighting since I was about twelve, when Mase and I first saw an open class and went to check it out. I’ve been addicted ever since.”

  I can’t help but frown, “How can something so violent bring you peace?”

  Removing his hands from his pockets, he links them behind his head, “I’ve got issues, Chance. Issues you can’t begin to imagine,” he pauses, “I’m angry all the time. It builds up inside of me and nothing gives me relief except getting in that ring and unleashing it.” He looks up at the lights in the branches above him as he speaks, his voice is soft, but full of emotion.

  Bringing my knees up to my chest, I wrap my arms around them, and lay my head down, looking at him, “Why are you angry, Carter?” My voice comes out in a soft whisper.

  I watch his Adam’s apple bob as he swallows, then he licks his lips. The rise and fall of his chest is slow and steady as he turns to look at me, “Because of my sister, Bella.”

  I see no judgement in Chance’s eyes, and it reassures me. I don’t talk about Bells with anyone, not even Mase. He knows her, but we don’t talk about it. Although I think he knows more than he lets on.

  Staring at Chance, I wait for a flicker of disgust but all I see is compassion, and more questions. “Bella is my older sister, she’s twenty-four,” I swallow down the lump in my throat before I can continue, “Bella was born with Down Syndrome.”

  Chance frowns, “And that makes you angry?”

  Still there is no judgement in her tone, she’s just trying to understand. I shake my head, “No, Bells is amazing. She is by far the most amazing person I know. But the outside world doesn’t see her the way I do. And that makes me angry. It burns me alive that she is denied the same opportunities that every other girl her age is given. She’s put in a box and expected to stay there.”

  Understanding fills Chance’s eyes and she nods, “I get it. That would be hard to swallow.”

  “It is, but the worst part,” I shake my head and my fists clench in the hair at the back of my neck. Shooting to my feet, I begin to pace, “The worst fucking part of it all is our parents. My mother is a conceited bitch who rarely acknowledges Bella’s existence and my father, you don’t want to know anything about that man. To them, Bella is a tarnish on the family name, a blemish on their perfect reputations.”

  My entire body is rigid, every muscle is locked tight. I try not to think about their lack of a role in my sister’s life for this very reason. I can’t handle it. They make me sick. My hands curl around the top of the branch that Chance is sitting on, and I hang my head, “I hate them,” I whisper into the darkness.

  I startle when I feel Chance wrap her arms around my back, pressing her face between my shoulder blades as she holds me tight. I didn’t even notice her getting down from the damn tree. She doesn’t speak, she just holds me, and it soothes the storm raging inside of me.

  My heartrate begins to slow, and my muscles start to relax, “Sorry,” I murmur, “I didn’t mean to get so heavy on you.”

  She shakes her head against me, and that’s when I feel a wet spot on my shirt. Turning around, I lift her face so I can see her, tears shine in her eyes, and I catch one as it slides down her cheek, “Why are you crying?”

  “She’s lucky to have you, you know that, right?” she says, “You just showed me a side to you that I never in a million years could have imagined,” she presses her small hand against my chest, over my heart, “You have a big, beautiful heart, Carter Cross. Thank you for trusting me enough to show me.” Then she pushes up to her tippy toes and presses a delicate kiss to my cheek.

  Her words, along with the gentle press of her lips to my skin, bring me comfort and I crave more of it, more of her. Dropping my head down to her eye level I tell her, “You better be careful, My Girl, I might just fall for you.”

  Smiling back at me she whispers, “I’m already halfway there.”

  I squeeze her waist and pull her into me, wrapping my arms around her, just enjoying the feel of her petite body curled around my big one. She fits in my arms perfectly, and I hold her for long moments in comfortable silence.

  The rest of the week passes faster than the one before. Time spent with Chance never feels like enough.

  She made it pretty clear she wasn’t interested in chilling together on campus because she doesn’t like the crew I hang with, and I get that, I don’t particularly like them either. I don’t have a problem ditching them for her, but she doesn’t want me to. So, apart from the few stolen minutes I’d get with her in the only class we share and right before practice, I don’t get to see her much.

  Today is Friday, and I have a game tonight. I would have asked her to come, but I can think of a million other things she would rather do. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out that football is not her thing. Instead, I’m meeting up with her when it’s all over. And I can’t fucking wait.

  The cheer squad is working the crowd into a frenzy, and I feed on the energy they’re supplying. The atmosphere is almost electric and, for a moment, I wish I hadn’t told Coach to bench me. I know the boys will kick arse without me, but I still wish I was on the field with them.

  My knee bounces as I sit on the side line watching the game play out. I yell out encouragement to the guys who seem to be fumbling without me by their side. Mase may be my closest friend and the only one that truly matters to me out there, but I do like some of the other guys. Not all though, some of them are total wankers I wouldn’t spit on if they were on fire.

  When the game ends, I jog into the locker room with the team, but since I don’t need to shower, I change my clothes quickly and head out to the parking lot. A smile spreads over my face when I find Chance leaning against the hood of my car.

  A seductive smile spreads over her face, “Hey there, Mr. Football Star,” she gushes with fake enthusiasm, bringing her arms together either side of her perfect tits to push them up, her imitation of a cheerleader, I gather.

  I saunter straight up to her, taking a loose strand of her hair and tugging on it, “Sorry, Sugar. Didn’t you know? I’m off the market.”

  A real smile curves her full lips now, “Right answer,” she winks then pops up to her tip toes and presses a kiss to my lips, as she wraps her arms arounds my neck.

  Kissing her back, I wrap my arms around her middle and drag her into my body, deepening the kiss. She tastes so good, I could easily get carried away right here in the parking lot. But before I get too handsy, an ear-splitting screech pulls our attention away from each other. I turn to look over my shoulder as Chance pokes her head to the side to see what’s behind us, or who.

  It’s the ballergirl from the other day, and I glare at her as she shoots daggers at Chance. I clear my throat, drawing her focus back to me as I turn around to face her fully, tucking Chance further behind me, “Tell me we aren’t going to have the same conversation we’ve already had,” I say, mindful not to raise my voice.

  Her face is red and her little hands are clenched in fists by her sides, “Are you seriously hooking up with her now?” she seethes.

  I glare at her in her tiny cheer uniform, that I’m sure is a size or two too small, and wonder what I ever saw in her. “It’s none of your business who I hook up with.”

  “Like hell it’s not! You’re mine! I waited for my turn and I’m not giving you up so you can have her, of all people. She’s not even a cheerleader,” she rants, and she’s moved close enough to poke me in the chest as she talks.

  Looking down at her hand still touching me, I grit my teeth, “Get your hand off of me, or I will do it for you.” She drops her hand but doesn’t back away, she’s still too close, up in my personal space. Lowering my head, I get in her face, “Did you consider that maybe that’s why I’m with her, because she’s nothing like you and your trampy friends?”

  Her jaw drops, eyes widen, and she screams in my face, then slaps me. I’m about to lose
my shit with this chick, but that’s when Chance sidesteps me and shoves both her palms into the cheerleader’s chest. I can’t quite believe what I’m seeing, but sure enough, Chance is about to kick this girl’s arse. Over me.

  I can’t stop the grin that takes over my face as I watch Chace back the girl up against the car a space over from mine, “If you ever touch him like that again, I will rip those cheap hair extensions from your wanna be Barbie doll hair. Got it?” she states and I’ve never been so turned on. Holy shit, it’s so fucking hot.

  Mase steps up beside me, “What the fuck’s going on? Are you going to let C.C. get into it with Tina? You know that would be a bad idea right, she’ll end up with the whole squad on her back.”

  I swear under my breath, he’s right. I come up behind Chance and pick her up in a fireman’s hold, throwing her over my shoulder. “As much as I’d like to watch my girl kick your scrawny arse, I’ve got other plans for her tonight,” I wink down at the stunned cheerleader, then stride back over to my car and deposit Chance in the passenger seat.

  As I pass Mase, he claps me on the shoulder, “Looks like I’ve got some comforting to do,” he says with a wicked smirk, then he zeros in on the cheerleader as he begins advancing on her.

  I laugh as he goes, shaking my head, “Have fun,” I call out to him then get in behind the wheel of my car, glancing over at Chance, who’s glaring out the window at the chick she just did a superb job of intimidating on my behalf.

  Reaching over, I turn her face back to me, and look her in the eyes, “Girl,” I murmur, “That was fucking hot, but don’t try to take on the Cheerleaders, they don’t fight fair or solo.”

  She was smiling at me a moment ago, now her expression has gone flat, “You think I can’t take care of myself?” she asks, and her voice is too controlled, “You don’t think I can handle a few airheads with pompoms?” she continues. “Do I look like I would fight fair?”